I don’t want to bring the party down, but I will not be tuning in to watch coverage of the Winter Olympics in Torino, Italy. I enjoy seeing Americans excel in international competition as much as anyone. However, the winter games have just never held my interest.

Sure, they have had their great moments. Who will ever forget the games at Lake Placid in 1980 and the U.S. hockey team’s “miracle on ice”? Or the grace of Dorothy Hamill at the Innsbruck games in 1976? She won a gold medal, and her short wedge hairstyle became a fashion sensation. For the most part, however, the winter games have always been rather short on drama -- too many judges, and too much hardware.

The most popular event at the Olympics is figure skating. Sorry, but real sports don’t have sequins!  Nor do they rely too heavily on judges. Whoever runs the fastest, jumps the highest, lifts the most or scores the most goals wins the game, and it shouldn’t matter if ones toes are pointed or ones knees are together.

There are no judging controversies in real sports because there are no such things as style points or artistic merit. Winning ugly is still winning. You want art? Go to the museum.

And if you want consistency don’t go to the Olympics. For instance, if there is ice-skating in the winter, why is there not roller-skating in the summer? There is also Olympic ice dancing -- anything with dancing in the name is not a real sport -- why not Olympic ballroom dancing? And of course, if we are gong to have Olympic ballroom dancing, why not have Olympic break dancing?

Bobsledding is also popular. Two- or four-man teams use a toboggan to slide down a path made of ice at insane speeds. A better moniker for this event would be hanging-on-for-dear-life. Up until the early 1950’s, Americans ruled the ice using American-made sleds. By the late ‘50’s, the Europeans began making better sleds and were soon dominating the sport. In the 1990’s, American design and technology began to catch up with that of the Europeans, and we again became competitive.
Real sports don’t depend on aerodynamic design and engineers. 

There are some real sports in the winter games. The downhill ski events and speedskating come to mind.  However, the ride may be thrilling, but the drama of the competition is always a bit limp. Watching the skier with the fastest time standing at the finish line, skis on end in order to show off the sponsor’s logo and watching his opponents’ split time, can’t compete with the drama of human contact and interactio -- people racing at the same time against the same clock. Drama is the lean to be the first one to break the ribbon, then collapsing -- energy spent, hearts full or broken to pieces. That's what is missing from the winter games.   

None of this is to say the participants are not athletically gifted and have not put in hours of practice to excel. However, because an activity is difficult and requires athletic prowess doesn’t mean it should be an Olympic sport. Come to think of it, the winter games do have its share of events that don’t actually require a great deal of athletic prowess. 

I suspect even the most ardent fan of curling will concede that sliding a stone across the ice while your partner sweeps doesn’t demand a great deal of physical conditioning. Any time you can train on a diet of pizza and beer, you know you are not involved in sport.