Men are Top Cupids in Office
Date: Tuesday, February 19, 2008
By: PATRICIA KITCHEN -- Newsday, nandotimes.com Original
MELVILLE, N.Y. When it comes to playing Cupid in the office, men appear to be edging out women.
An online survey conducted last month found that one in four men said they had fixed up a colleague, compared with one in five women - a finding at odds with customary expectations.
The survey, admittedly unscientific, got responses from 1,117 men and 1,898 women. It was conducted by Richmond, Va.-based SnagAJob.com, a job site for hourly workers.
Even the SnagAJob.com people were assuming that "men were more absorbed in fantasy football and YouTube videos" than matchmaking, says Cathy McCarthy, senior vice president of marketing. She also points out that a generational factor may be at play, as younger men were more likely to say they had played Mr. Cupid. Specifically, 32 percent of men in the 18- to 34-year-old group said they had done so, compared with 26 percent in the 35- to 54-year-old group. But that generational shift wasn't apparent in women's responses: 24 percent in the younger group said they had played Ms. Cupid, compared with 25 percent in the older group.
McCarthy said one explanation for the younger men's involvement may be due to their comfort with work-life overlap - unlike Baby Boomers, known for having been absorbed with "climbing the ladder and career, career, career."
One Mr. Cupid who succeeded with his one and only match is Dan Casale, 29, of Babylon, N.Y., vice president of finance for an entertainment company in Manhattan. Five years ago, he set Laura O'Connell of East Northport, N.Y., up with a blind date - telling her that she was definitely going to marry the guy.
Last June, she did.
Still, unlike Casale, more often men simply provide an assist - serving as a go-between for a work colleague who asks to be introduced to a specific person the man knows, says Andrew Kakabadse, professor of international management development at Cranfield University School of Management near London. He and his wife, Nada, co-authored a scholarly book, "Intimacy: An International Survey of the Sex Lives of People at Work" (Palgrave Macmillan, $79.95.)
What's at play more than gender, he says, is having a workplace culture of friendliness and easy discussions of work and personal issues - a culture where "anyone can be Cupid, even the boss."
As for the gender difference in the survey, O'Connell, 29, now marketing manager of Welcome Wagon in Plainview, N.Y., says it may be that when it comes to playing Cupid, "women are more cautious than men in the workplace."
Indeed, Casale points out the risk involved with taking a stab at fixing up someone you see on a daily basis: "What if it doesn't work out?" He felt confident in setting up his work colleague with Keith O'Connell, 30, who works in a finance-accounting job in Manhattan and is the brother of Casale's then-girlfriend and now-wife, Nicole.
As for other Mr. Cupids, he says he hasn't heard of any. That's not to say there aren't any - it's just not the kind of thing that guys talk about.
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