It’s the third week and so far we have previewed the first two keys: Accountability and Challenge. If I have to admit it, this third key to me is one of the most exciting as it
allows you to experience immediate results. Immediate results? I knew that would spark you attention. Yes, it’s true. When this key is implemented properly you can tangibly see a difference. What is this secret weapon? The third key is
Rewards- tangible and intangible.
Rewards, just the word alone can bring a smile to your face. This is one of the most important keys to motivating your kids. For decades, researchers have debated the effects of rewards on children. Many researchers have argued that some of the negative effects of rewards include the following:
• Rewards set unrealistic expectations, whereas children will only perform for rewards.
• Rewards create an environment where children begin to progressively expect bigger and better things.
• When the rewards stop, so does the desired behavior.
Still, other researchers have argued that there are many positive effects to rewards, which include the following:
• Rewards increase the motivation to engage in an assigned task.
• Rewards recognize the efforts of the individual.
• Rewards are a form of encouragement.
• Rewards help to sustain interest in a task.
• Rewards instill feelings of appreciation for being acknowledged.
Okay for all practical purposes, as with any subject, there are pros and cons. Too many rewards can create a negative impact if given without the proper objectives in mind. In light of the fact that we live in a reward-driven society, and as adults we are all rewarded tangibly and enjoy it, I believe there is a great deal of merit to rewards.
The theory of motivation indicates that rewards or reinforcements are a major part of our desire to achieve. Really, you don’t have to know the theory to understand that. Just look at what motivates you. When you are told that you are going to receive a reward for your efforts, it definitely increases your desire to accomplish the task.
As we discuss rewards and their role in motivating your children, understanding these concepts will help you understand human behavior and how you can influence positive and negative behaviors.
Rewards Versus Punishments
Do you reward your kids? Do you punish your kids? Which one works?
From a survey of over 300 parents, in examining punishment, results from our survey found that 94% of the took away privileges as a form of punishment/discipline and only 50% of the parents used forms of grounding or timeout as punishment.
If I Have to Tell You One More Time...6 Keys to Motiviating Your Children
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When we asked questions about rewards 72% of the parents indicated they reward with special privileges/outing 38% reward with TV or video privileges, and only 36% agreed that they reward their children with money for completing tasks or chores.
I believe strongly in rewards as a motivational tool. Rewards come in many forms and the type of reward that motivates one child may not motivate the other. That is why it is important to know specific motivational triggers in your children. Rewards are motivators.
Money as a Reward
The statement that produced the most discussion was the giving of money as a reward. I found it quite intriguing that parents felt quite passionate about their stance in not paying their children for completing tasks. Many parents felt that their children do not need to be paid to do their chores. Some of the comments included the following:
“Chores are a part of what is expected to live together as a family unit.”
“We all have to do our part without reward.”
“They are supposed to do their homework.”
“I didn’t get paid for doing my chores when I was growing up.”
“I expect them to get good grades; I am not paying them to do it.”
“Children are given too much and need to learn that some things just have to been done because I said so.”
Well the list could go on, but I’m sure that you get the picture. Moreover, quite honestly, you may feel the same way to some extent. Let me share my stance on the subject of money as a reward.
We all like money. We like what it does for us and what it brings to us. Essentially, it brings us rewards. Money brings us rewards that we want, and/or need. It does not matter if you choose to reward your children by actually giving them paper currency or coins. The “monetary” reward can be a toy, clothing or other items that were purchased with money.
If they are not paid an allowance for doing their chores, how else are they getting an allowance? I believe that it is important not to give them money just because they need to have some to spend. If they are just given money for no apparent reason, what kind of life skill is that teaching? Rewarding children with money for doing their chores helps them learn an important life skill that you have to work for what you get because nothing in life is free!
My children are not rewarded with money for all of their chores. We have selected out specific tasks that we are using to instill work ethics. For instance, they are not rewarded for cleaning up their room, but we have chosen the kitchen as one of the rooms that brings about monetary compensation. Let’s face it, I don’t typically enjoy cleaning the kitchen, but I love a clean kitchen and I know that it has to be done. I think I could have a greater desire to do it if I were getting paid. So, knowing what would motivate me to do the task, I use this insight to motivate my kids.
The process does not stop there. Goals must be established, accomplished and rewarded. Upon receiving compensation, our children have to establish their own goal as to how they are going to reward themselves. They are allowed to spend some, save some, and give some. Just imagine what grasping those principles will do for them in life. I wish I had learned this concept and the principles of money at an earlier age.
I would strongly encourage you to find a way for your child to earn money to help them grasp and learn at an early age the value of money seeing that our culture is one of the number one consumer and does the least amount of investing.
Below are listed some of the benefits that children receive when they are given monetary rewards.
Benefits of Monetary Rewards:
Teaches life skills -when you work you get paid.
Provides an avenue for you to teach your children money management.
Makes children feel their contribution counts.
Helps children to set financial goals and learn delayed gratification
Teaches children to value work.
Teaches children to value money.
Token System
An alternative to rewarding with money is the token system. They system works the same as if you are paying them money, but instead your reward them with tickets or tokens. Each task is assigned a point value. For example, for cleaning the bathroom may be worth 3 tickets. Completing homework assignments may be worth 1 ticket and vacuuming the floor worth 2 tickets. Task values are assigned at your discretion. At the end of the week, they can trade their tickets for money or items. I have also used this system and it works very well.
Do rewards have to be tangible? No, of course not. However, there needs to be a balance of intangible rewards, such as verbal praise, and as tangible rewards like money. The verbal praise is a key to building the self-efficacy of your child. Self-efficacy is the belief in one’s capabilities to accomplish a task. This is extremely important. If your child does not believe that he/she can complete their homework because of the subject matter or the level of difficulty, rewards will not motivate them to change their behavior.
Guiding Principles for Administering Rewards
1. Rewards should only be given when defined goals are met. Continuous rewards for behavior can lead to satiation of the reward. As with anything else, rewards can get old and lose their effectiveness.
2. Rewards should include both tangible and intangible rewards.
Give children an opportunity to participate in goal setting and choosing rewards. This helps them to learn to set and accomplish goals.
3. Verbal praise is extremely important and should be included in your reward system. Sometimes it appropriate to have verbal praise as the only reward. Verbal praise builds up the self-esteem and self-efficacy of your children.
4. Tangible rewards should be used with the end result in mind.
Tangible rewards should include a variety of types and levels of rewards.
Avoid using rewards as bribes, but always have an end goal in mind.
5. Avoid giving too many sweets and treats as rewards. This behavior promotes unhealthy eating habits, not to mention the dental bill.
There is so much more discussed in the book concerning this important key. Reward them to increase the desired behavior. Try it and see the results.
Until next time stay motivated!
