It has been over a month now since we first began. How are things working for you? Well, I hope these last four weeks have been beneficial and have helped to decrease some of the stress levels in your home. Now as we get ready for back to school, it is really important that you start your kids out motivated to achieve.
If I Have to Tell You One More Time...6 Keys to Motiviating Your Children
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
We have reviewed the first four keys Accountability, Challenge, Rewards, and Importance/Relevant. Now for the key number five: Opportunity for Growth.
Say what? Okay are we still talking about motivation? The opportunity to grow, “What does that mean?” It really means making sure that progress is being made.
The fifth key helps to set a bar or a standard for you to reach. If you have ever felt stagnated in a current position or in your personal life, then you understand how important and motivating it is to be constantly growing and developing.
How often have you felt stuck? That feeling is overwhelming and will take over and smother you if you let it. We can use the example of being stuck in traffic. When you are sitting on the freeway and there are cars stacked in the two lanes on your right and cars stacked in the two lanes on your left, you kind of get that claustrophobic feeling. It is a feeling of being out of control because you are not in control. You make a call on your cell phone and say, I will be there as soon as I can but right now, I am stuck in traffic.
If you are like me, you can’t stand to be stuck so you wiggle your way across two lanes of traffic to get off at the nearest exit ramp. Great, now I’m moving I actually feel like I am making progress. There is an exhilarating feeling that comes from feeling like you are growing. There were many occasions after exiting, that I was stuck in traffic longer because of stoplights. It’s something about the hope that is derived from seeing the light turn green and eight cars go through that makes you feel as if your turn is coming soon vs. not knowing when I was going to advance on the freeway or how far.
The success of individuals depends on the ability of that person to a) create their own opportunities, b) challenge themselves, and c) to continue to raise the bar. Haven’t you heard some interviews with some of the famous entertainers and athletes? The interviewee will ask a question something like “How do you plan to top yourself? While that may sound like an out of the ordinary question, but many of them have an answer. Based on the fact that they have an answer, proves that they are always thinking one step ahead and have a plan that will enable them to go to an even higher level.
Incorporate Growth
Allow the opportunity for your children to expand and develop when assigning tasks. If they believe that they will spend the rest of the year doing the same task that will impact how they approach the task and if they are motivated to complete it. It’s easy to understand how your kids will grow and develop from one stage to another when academics are involved. But I am sure that you are wondering, “How can I justify progressive development with chores? I’m glad you asked.
For example, let’s use the laundry as a case in point, since it was one of the most dubious tasks that never end. There are many steps to doing the laundry, which include:
1. Gathering,
2. Sorting,
3. Filling the machine with soap and clothes,
4. Putting in fabric softener,
5. Transferring clothes to the dryer,
6. Folding and putting away
7. Hanging up or ironing
Okay so are you tired? I am. And just think that is just for one load. When you break it out in steps, it looks huge. I’m just glad I am not from the era when they washed with scrub boards. No wonder, people in the good old days always had on the same clothes in all the pictures.
Back to progressive development, Let’s say, that Tiara starts out learning how to gather and sort all the clothes. At the next stage, she learns how to fill the machine with clothes, soap, and turn all the knobs. Another stage of development would be transferring the clothes and operating the dryer. The big step is folding, hanging, ironing, and putting away. You know come to think of it my husband has just reached the last step. You see how that works. Even with a chore you can incorporate growth that allows the mind to be ever learning. Thought provoking huh?
Measuring Growth
You have to have a measuring tool that will allow your kids to see their growth. It is such a fun stage in their life when they are growing in height and every one comments on their growth. I am sure that many of you have growth charts and/or growth marks on a doorway somewhere visible so they can see their growth pattern. When you take that stick and measure the mark, they are so elated to see it higher than last time.
In assigning tasks, build in a way to measure their progress. We all like to see how we have grown and developed. The same applies to chores and other tasks that are assigned at home. To see the growth stages in their chores is not only a great motivator but it helps build confidence. Not only do we want to focus on the external development, but the life and work skills that are being learned.
Self-Assessment
Another important element to growth is providing the opportunity to grade ones’ self. It is important to teach your kids how to effectively assess their efforts and behavior. It is critical to teach them the difference between self-evaluation and self- criticism. You have heard the saying; you are your own worst enemy. This is a sad but true saying. Somewhere along the line, we developed and started to internalize negative thoughts about ourselves, which often started in the early stages of life.
Begin to teach your children how to assess their work by asking appropriate questions. Example, “Do you think that you did a great job cleaning your room?” What’s even more important is asking the follow up question of why do you think that you did/didn’t do a great job. This allows an opportunity to really reflect on their work and their answers. It really leads back to accountability key. Don’t forget to reward them with verbal praise if the job was well-done or constructive feedback if it wasn’t. Either way, conversations such as this, will help them to begin the self- assessment process, which is very beneficial to learning. One, it promotes learning as well as give the child a raised level of awareness of perceived levels of abilities.
Action Steps
1. Modeling after the education model, incorporate levels of growth into chores and other task. Continue to raise the level of expectation.
2. Measure the growth and make sure that children are aware of how much they grow.
3. Provide opportunities for self –assessment. It helps to build sound confident adults.
One key left to cover and then a brief look at the plan. Remember, If you have tried any of these strategies, I would love to hear from you. Send me a message at www.DrGladney.com.
Until next time, stay motivated!
