Time is moving rapidly. It’s already week four and we have gone through the first three keys; Accountability, Challenge, and Rewards. I know that we are moving quickly and we haven’t really addressed how to implement the plan, but we will touch on that in a couple of weeks. The fourth key that will be highlighted today is Important/Relevant. Here is another key that may make you wonder what it has to do with motivation. Once again, when you can see the significance of something, you are more motivated to accomplish your goal.
If I Have to Tell You One More Time...6 Keys to Motiviating Your Children
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
For kids, this is even more meaningful. During the time that we were growing up, we were not allowed to ask questions, such as why. And if you did, the standard answer was because I said so. We were motivated to move more from the fear of what would happen if we didn’t. Did it work? Of course, and there was nothing wrong with it. Look how we all turned out. But just imagine, how motivated you may have been to actually want to do something instead of reacting out of fear.
We will look at the briefly at the three W’s
What – what you want them to learn
Why - why they need to learn it
Where – where they will use what they have learned.
To help increase the desire, or the drive, to accomplish a task, human nature says, “Show me why it is important or how it is relevant to me”. Before we begin, let’s take a look at the dictionary definition of important and relevance.
The first of the three W’s will examine what you want them to learn.
What?
To answer the “What” question, determine what it is that you really want your children to gain or learn from the experience that you are providing through performing the task. Okay, so they have chores to do, what do you want them to learn from doing their chores? Doing schoolwork and homework are a little easier to come up with benefits. The teachers and others help you in that area in trying to establish the importance of education.
In trying to establish learning for chores one activity that is very helpful for you to do is to make a “What” list. The “What” list is made up of exactly what you want them to learn. Besides learning obedience and how to follow direction, add other things that will important lessons for life. After you have come up with the list, you will want to share it with your children.
An example of some of the “What’s” could include:
o Responsibility and reliability
o Work Ethics
o Skill sets, cleanliness, organizational, independence
o Care and respect for personal property
When you have an end result in mind, it helps to keep your mind focused on what is really important and the benefit of the task.
Now let’s take a look at the second W.
Why?
Why do I need to do this? Show me how this will make a difference for me. To answer the question why, you as the parent must understand why. So often when our kids ask, “Why do I have to do it, or why can’t I do it, we unconscientiously retort, “Because I said so”. It would help in the motivation process, if children clearly understood in the beginning why this needs to be done. Let’s look at a few reasons why it is important that you keep their room clean?
1. Helps to eliminate stress
2. Helps you to be organized
3. You can find clothes to put on in the morning
4. Helps keep bugs away
5. Helps you learn responsibility
6. You won’t be embarrassed when friends come over
7. I won’t be embarrassed when friends come over
8. Helps you learn cleanliness and taking care of personal property.
I didn’t say all the reasons would be satisfying to the inquiring minds, however, you can see that giving reasons is much better than “I told you to.” Your hope is that one of the reasons will be the one that sparks them to action.
In my instructional design class in college the primary focus of the class was to learn how to design instruction and curriculum so that the learner could easily process the information. One of the most integral pieces of designing a lesson, is to establish the importance of the material and how it is applicable in the learner’s life. If a person can’t determine why I need to learn this information or do this task, they are less likely to want to perform or do well.
Now, let’s examine the third W that asks the question where.
Where?
Where will I use all the skills that I acquire by doing chores? Well let’s just start with the current job market. If you take a look at the job skills requirements, you will find that there is a gap in the basic job skills that employees are bringing to the companies.
Companies are in need of employees who can work with others, are visionaries, and can and will accept responsibility for the decisions they make and the actions they take. The skills and work ethics that many are bringing to the companies are a determining factor on the individual is successful in their career.
In the state of Georgia alone, work ethics have become the major focus of employers. The U.S. Department of Labor estimates that 80 percent of workers who lose their jobs do so not because of lack of occupational skills, but because of poor work ethics." (Georgia Department of Technical and Adult Education).
No longer is a degree sufficient enough to obtain and maintain a good job; employees must also be aware of how his/her work ethics affect coworkers, clients/customers, and, ultimately, the success of the business. Employers have already realized this impact and are now demanding that employees come work-ready and not just trained.
Surveys over the past decade overwhelmingly show employers’ desires to hire employees with good work ethics--realizing that skills can be taught, but good work ethics are something the employee must possess.
Are we really saying that doing chores will help you children get and keep a job? Of course it will. Let’s look again at some of the benefits of completing systematic tasks.
o Learning how to follow directions
o Responsibility and reliability
o Time Management
o Independence
o Cleanliness
o Organization
o Respect for authority
o Prioritizing
Just by answering these three questions, what, why, and where, you have not only established the significance of doing the work, but also how it will be beneficial in the future. Have you ever been around an adult who can’t seem to find a job or keep a job? And you wonder why. Are they just lazy irresponsible or both? It’s not hard to image what their work ethics are like. As a child, I would venture to say that they were not taught work ethics and responsibility.
I know this concept may sound a bit too philosophical, explaining reasons to your kids for why they need to do something that you have asked them to do, but let’s look at it this way. You are creating relevance for them, as well as the explaining the benefits for later in life. Remember, we are trying to raise motivated and responsible hard working adults. The sooner they grasp that message, the better.
Action Steps
1. Create your “What” list. This links back to the very beginning when we talked about goals.
2. Have a list of benefits for completing task that you can readily share with your child/ren.
3. Continue to remind yourself, that the child that lives with you will one day become an adult and we need to prepare them for the real world.
Remember, the elements to each of these keys are explained more in depth in the book. We only have two keys left cover and a brief look at the plan that brings it all together. If you have tried any of these strategies so far, I know that you have seen some results. I would love to hear from you. Send me a message at www.DrGladney.com.
