Q: Hi Valorie,
How do I overcome nervousness when going out with a new guy? Also, does everything have to be perfect before considering a relationship ( i.e your debts cleared, career fulfillment, every single emotional issue dealt with)? When is it the right time?
A: Being nervous may just be a part of your process. Feel the fear and go out with him anyway - and enjoy it!
You'll never have everything be "perfect" in your life. It is important to work towards being your best, but don't allow perfection to be an excuse that allows you to avoid facing your fears. Keep in mind that dating is very different from a committed relationship, so being "ready" is relative to the individual situation. I don’t’ think we’re every perfectly ready for anything. We just have to step out on faith and learn as we go – whether in a relationship or any other area of life.
It's important to deal with emotional issues, too. I recommend avoiding a new relationship if you are not yet over a previous one. If you are working through some serious issues and seeing a psychologist and s/he suggests you focus on more healing before engaging in a relationship, follow their guidance.
Lastly, have fun! I think it's great that you are going to start dating. Lighten up. Enjoy making a new friend. Don't make it such a big deal! :)
Warm wishes,
Valorie Burton, a life coach and professional speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards and What's Really Holding You Back?. Subscribe to her FREE, inspirational e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com.
