Q: 

I am a 36 year old woman, I found my father three years ago. I also found out he is married and has three other children.  This is no excuse but his wife dose not want him to have anything to do with my brother and me that is why he stopped having contact with my mother when my brother and I was 11 and 12. His daughters told me they did not want to have anything to do with us, I am wanting to know if I need to just leave it alone?, as far as trying to have a relationship with him because I don't have any contact with them(his children).

A:

I am so sorry they have chosen to deny themselves of the opportunity to know their daughter and sister.  You deserve to know your family on both sides and it is terribly sad that your father is not a strong enough man to embrace in his own children.  But as you have probably heard, you can't change people.  You can accept them where they are, pray for change and persevere.  I know this doesn't necessarily give you comfort, but it will save you the emotional energy of trying in vain to convince them of what is right. 

Yes, I think you should leave them alone and focus on enriching your life with loved ones (family and friends) who act like family.  Remember this prayer as you seek a path of healing from this the emotional wounds of your father and siblings' behavior:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.