Q: Dear Valorie,
I have a friend who always gives me a nice gift for Christmas, so I feel obligated to find her something, too. My budget is limited, and quite frankly, I don’t think she is overflowing with money, but this is just how she is. She loves to give gifts. I don’t want to her feelings and just give her a card. I have other relatives to buy for, too – and two children who have their Christmas lists already made out. I’m trying to be better about not charging up my credit cards, but I feel so much pressure to buy all of these gifts. I am thinking of getting a part-time job for the holidays to be able to afford it, but my time is already tight and I’m not excited about working more. Plus, if I work during the holidays, I am going to miss some family and office Christmas parties that I know are coming up (and have to buy gifts and outfits for). Do you have any advice?
On a tight budget, Atlanta
AP Video
A:
I think a lot of people can relate to your dilemma. Since you already know she is likely planning to buy you something, why not bring up the subject with her now – before she spends money on a gift for you? You can tell her that you appreciate her thoughtfulness, but don’t want her to spend her money on a gift. You value her friendship and know that she appreciates you, and she doesn’t have to give you a gift. Also let her know that you are on a budget this year and only planning to buy gifts for your immediate family.
You are not obligated to buy gifts for anyone. It is a cultural custom, but you must choose whether you will practice the custom in a way that feel pressured or a way that feels authentic based on your personal resources. If you decide you’d still like to give her something, do something that doesn’t require a lot of money – bake cookies and wrap them nicely in a gift basket, or if she has children, create a gift card good for a free evening of babysitting by you. Be creative and you can find a lot of ways to give gifts that are thoughtful, but not expensive.
Warm wishes,
Valorie
Life coach and professional speaker Valorie Burton is the author of several books, including What's Really Holding You Back? and Listen to Your Life. Subscribe to her FREE e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com.
