How Much Influence Do You Have – at Work or Home?
Do you live and communicate in such a way that you have a consistent and positive influence on those in your environment? Your ability to influence is essential to your success. Your purpose in life is rooted in your ability to impact others using your unique gifts, talents and experiences. Think of people who influence you. What is it about them that caused you to be influenced by them?
As you ponder that question, you’ll likely connect with the following ten principles. Consider these a ten-step road map to gaining influence and using it in a powerful, positive way. They are ten strategies that work, whether your goal is to influence the people you work with, the people you live with, those you know and those you’ve yet to meet.
10 Rules of Influencing People
- Lead yourself first.
The first rule of influence is to test just how much influence you have over yourself. What is your vision? Are your goals specific? Do you have a plan and a deadline to reach them? Develop self-discipline and you will develop the character that attracts people to you. They will seek you out for advice and follow your leadership because you exhibit success habits that most people know, but neglect. If a person cannot lead himself, he will always experience ongoing turmoil when attempting to lead anyone else.
- Know the purpose of your influence.
How is a person’s life better because they cross your path? The answer to this question explains your purpose. Having influence should not be about gaining the power to get what you want when you want it. It’s not about you, your ego, or worldly power. It is about making a positive difference. Know how you are uniquely meant to influence others.
- Get out of your way.
Don’t allow age to limit your success. Be willing to learn and grow continually, but refuse to put yourself in a box that says you won’t have significant influence at this stage of your life. You have opportunities to influence every day. Be willing to take risks, take on tasks that will stretch you beyond your comfort zone and empower you to move to the next level more quickly. How are you limiting yourself right now?
- Admit your mistakes; then fix the problem.
Once of the quickest ways to lose influence – and respect – is to pretend nothing is wrong when it is. When you make a bad decision or do something you wish you had not, admit it. Then look for ways to improve. Even ask for help from the very people you wish to influence. By telling the truth, you allow those around you to see that they can trust you, and that you don’t pretend to be perfect. Just as importantly, you show them that you respect them and value honesty. A willingness to admit a mistake builds loyalty – and loyalty is a hallmark of influence.
- Raise the bar.
People are influenced by people they see as being ahead of them in some way. If your standards match the masses, your influence is diminished. Be willing to be different and raise the bar so that your standards far exceed common expectations. Raising your standards elevates the vantage point from which you view the world, thereby enlarging your perspective. It is this enlarged perspective that empowers you to see a bigger picture and paint a larger vision. How could you raise the bar at this stage of your life?
- Make people feel significant.
People want to feel important. It is a basic human need. No one likes to feel insignificant. If you – by your words, actions or attitude – cause people to feel significant and empowered, you will increase your influence with them. Many people who hold leadership titles like to feel significant by making others insignificant. They may get their way through force, but they will not enjoy the loyalty and long-term changes that are marked by a leader who leads by influence.
- Refine your gifts.
Your power as a leader lies in the divine gifts and talents that are unique to you. When you use your gifts to serve others, you are living on purpose. You will never find greater success on any other path than the one you were created for. When something comes naturally, it can be easy to rest on your laurels. Make a decision to better by honing your gifts and talents through education, mentorship and practice. In what way are you resting on your laurels?
- Accept and use constructive criticism.
When you try hard and do you best, it sometimes can be difficult to hear criticism about how you do what you do. Make a decision today to stop taking criticism personally. Even when someone delivers criticism in a not-so-sensitive way, listen. Ask yourself, “Is there any truth to what this person is saying?” If you cannot answer objectively, ask someone else who knows the situation. When you become focused on fully developing potential, you want to know your areas of needed improvement. Then create a plan of action to use constructive criticism to your advantage by making changes that lead to improvement in the key areas of your life. What criticism are you defensive about? How could you use that criticism to be better?
- Speak simply.
If you communicate well, you will go far as a leader. In fact, you observe leaders daily whose talents are not as great as others, but who know how to communicate effectively. They are straightforward and relate well with people. They don’t just talk, they listen. When they speak, it is obvious they have spent much time listening to the needs of others because people connect with what they say. Be clear about what you want, speak simply and refuse to beat around the bush. Your influence will be felt when others connect, understand and take action based on the message you communicate.
- Selectively choose who will influence you.
Every true leader must also follow. Who are the key influencers in your life? Be selective about who you allow to influence your decisions, attitude and behaviors. Establish the values that are most important to you – the ones you would like others to embrace as a result of being influenced by you. Then make sure that the influences on your life reflect those same values. If you don’t, you subject yourself to being led away from your vision and possibly leading others astray as well. It all goes back to Rule #1 – lead yourself first.
Valorie Burton’s latest book, Why Not You? 28 Days to Authentic Confidence is available online and in stores now. Her other books include Listen to Your Life, What's Really Holding You Back? and Rich Minds, Rich Rewards. Subscribe to her weekly e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com.
