Q:  Dear Valorie,

I am busy, but I don’t feel like my busyness is primarily my fault.  My boss regularly calls me on my cell phone after 6 or 7 pm, she sends emails on weekends expecting an answer, and sends text messages before the workday has even started.  I’m stressed when I return from a vacation by the sheer volume of work on my desk.  I am in sales, and while it is important to respond to things in a timely manner, we’re not dealing with life or death matters.  How do I set boundaries when I feel there are potentially negative consequences to doing so?

A:
Because of so many advances in technology, our culture is slowly shifting in a way that often causes work to invade our personal lives.  It requires a new set of rules to navigate the workplace.  Setting boundaries – and sticking to them – is essential to gaining control of your time and your personal life.  The first step is to decide what those boundaries are.   Right now, it sounds like you answer the phone at night when she calls and you are checking your email.  You must begin by taming your own technology habits.  It is tempting to answer the phone because it rings, but you will have to be more selective about calls you answers and which ones go to voice mail.  The same with email.  Answer it at specific times. 

Communication is important, too.  Begin making it clear that you won’t be available after hours, but offer an alternative to assure her the work will be done.  When setting these types of boundaries, it is very important that you maximize your own productivity during work hours.  Say something such as, “I won’t be available by phone or email this weekend, but here’s where this project stands and I’ll tackle the next step first thing Monday morning.”  If things do not improve, have a conversation about your need for a break from work when you go home.  Affirm your commitment to your job, and getting your work done efficiently. 

Lastly, you need to get clear about your priorities.  If working during your off hours is a requirement for your job, you have to decide whether this position will work for you long term.  If not, set a goal for something better and begin taking steps towards a change.  Some jobs come with the expectation that your work is your life, and if that’s what you’ve signed up for, it can be difficult to change the entire culture of an organization.  Either find a way to take good care of yourself while you are there – or start seeking other options.

Professional life coach Valorie Burton is the author of five books, including her latest, How Did I Get So Busy?  The 28-Day Plan to Free Your Time, Reclaim Your Schedule and Reconnect with What Matters Most.  Subscribe to her free e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com.