Wednesday, March 2, 2011 11:42 AM

Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen, Charlie Sheen:

Charlie Sheen is like watching a fat person falling down stairs. It’s funny; it seems to last forever, and you can’t look away.

In response to the idea that doing chores is sexy:

I did the laundry and the dishes and still couldn’t get none from the ol' lady!

In response to "Get Well Wednesday:"

My uncle has three toes on his left foot and none on his right. How can we stop him from walking in circles?

Back in the day, parents referred to concussions as knocking sense into your head.

In response to this morning's good show:

You guys are so much more entertaining than Steve Harvey, even when Sybil is angry for no reason.

 

 

In response to the end of Black History Month:

Tom, we had a white elder dress up like a slave master and apologize for slavery in church yesterday. Hell, we were all so shocked, we didn’t know whether to hug him or hang him!

In response to a phone tracker that keeps up with spouses:

Thanks a lot, Tom. My wife was fussing about something, but all of a sudden, she stopped talking to hear you talking about the phone crap.

That’s why I have a blackjack old school phone. I’m keeping it. I’m buying a roll of duct tape to keep it together.

In response to the advice to keep your phone close:

When I use the bathroom, so does my phone.

In response to J. saying he’s starring in "The Smokey Robinson Story:"

That’s not range. That’s strange.

In response to Eric Benet in the Fantastic Voyage's light-skinned vs. dark skinned water gun fight:

Eric Bnet’s fiancé is part Egyptian? Look out, she can throw rocks good too! LOL!