Talkin' 'Bout Good and Bad Hair

I have yet to see Chris Rock's new movie, "Good Hair," but the storyline has rocked black barber shops and hair salons nationwide. To perm or not to perm? Are hair extensions an extension of your self-esteem? Be weave-a-licious or au natural? And just how serious are we taking the terms good or bad hair?

While these are questions that black folks have debated over the years, I have personally felt that how we wear our hair should be left to personal opinion and personal taste. And most likely, influenced by the tastes of our parents and grandparents.

The last time i checked, the definition of a diva was all about carrying yourself with pride and strength,and knowing that God put you on this earth for a purpose. And as for grooming, a diva keeps herself up to date with the latest styles, with flawless looks and poise. But in my years of personal development, self-realization and years at Spelman College, I never recalled my self-worth as a woman attached to a specific weave inch requirement, lock length or perm quota.

I have worn sewn extensions for years. As a matter of fact, I made my own "black history" by being the first girl bold enough in middle school to wear this new technique that was only known to the stars of Hollywood. Weave was a mystery back then, and it was a mystery that I had discovered and pulled off without a hitch. At first I was teased to no end. The kids were relentless! There was hair pulling, jokes made, stares and astonishment from the white kids who just couldn't figure out how my hair GREW so fast! (A note of reference: Kimora Lee Simmons and I attended the same middle school, and she frequently talks of her damaging experiences at this same school, so trust me, I'm not joking.)

That eighth grade year was nothing short of mental torment. But I didn't budge. I loved that I felt "together" at such a young age, and I was also giving my natural hair a break. But as pressures grew, my adolescence won, and so did my need to be accepted, so the summer before high school, I removed my Yaki tresses and cut my hair to a short funky 'do,' paying homage to one of my favorite artists - the great Anita Baker.

I looked forward to the first day of high school, you know - new clothes, new attitude and of course, older, more mature boys! As I walked through the halls to find familiar faces, I noticed something had changed. Most of the girls with short or thinning hair now had tracks and strands cascading down their backs! By the end of the day, at least three former middle school homegirls approached me and apologized for giving me a hard time the year before - then proceeded to swing their new "round-the-way-girl" ponytails from the local beauty supply to first period. There it was - I was a trailblazer in my little suburb and didn't even know it!

To this day, I use that experience as fuel to take on bold looks through hair extensions, whenever and however I choose. I feel honored to be born in a culture that offers so many ways of expression through my strands of strength.

While I don't have a relaxer in my natural hair, I frequently wear a cascading weave that is on the expensive side, but I believe that you get what you pay for. I am not afraid to open a magazine and say, "I want to rock that look!"

And although my very .....