Capt. Alfonso Johnson watches the clip of his son singing at a Forward operating base airborne in Afghanistan. (AP)
FORWARD OPERATING BASE AIRBORNE, Afghanistan (AP) — At least a couple of times a week, U.S. army Capt. Alfonso Johnson opens his laptop at his base in Afghanistan and plays a rap video — a clip with his young son singing of his fears his father will die in combat.
"I'm 11 years old, already grown up, 'cause my dad's been gone so much," Xavier chants into a microphone, his head bobbing to a hip-hop beat. Then the boy gets more blunt: "I'm feeling real sad now, I can't lie, 'cause there's a chance that my dad might die."
Rather than depressing him, Johnson says the song, called "Keep 'em Safe," makes him feel closer to his son. That is partly because of the memory of working with Xavier to make the song and video in the U.S. But the lyrics also have a harsh honesty that lets 37-year-old Johnson feel the torrent of emotions his son, now 13, is experiencing back in Fort Drum, N.Y.
Monday marked Memorial Day, when military families confront the reality of soldier deaths directly. Johnson hopes their song can also help other children deal with their fears.
"Kids watch the news all the time, and they know that soldiers are dying in combat," Johnson said. He has been stationed since January in a valley in Wardak, a mountainous province a short drive from Kabul where U.S. and Afghan forces have been fighting Taliban militants.
Johnson serves as a public affairs officer. Rather than stress that he does not go into combat each day or play down the risks, he told Xavier before his deployment that the Afghan mountains were dangerous and he would have to carry a gun wherever he goes. He is scheduled to serve a one-year tour.
"Keep 'em Safe" originated from a poem that Xavier wrote just before Johnson was scheduled to leave on a tour of Iraq about two years ago. A medical condition prevented him from making the Iraq deployment, and he was reassigned to a group headed to Afghanistan.
Johnson, who keeps a synthesizer plugged into his computer and spends his free time composing hip-hop tracks, picked out a beat and some music and helped his son turn it into the song.
During 19 years living on and off army bases, Johnson said he has seen how children Xavier's age can have a rough time when they bottle up their worries about parents serving in war zones.
"Sometimes they might get in trouble in school just because their dad is gone, they miss him, and the family is not quite running right," he said, hoping that a song can help channel those feelings.
"It can help other kids express themselves, say things that they wouldn't say normally," Johnson said.
Psychologists say the separation brought on by military service is often hardest on teens, who have a much better sense of the risk their parents are facing than younger children.
"Adolescents can anticipate future events, so of course they have much more anxiety that the parent may die," said Kathleen Roche, an assistant professor at Johns Hopkins School of Public Health and co-author of a study on how military deployment affects families.
Reached by phone in Fort Drum, Xavier said he felt the need to tell everyone what he and his friends who also have parents serving in Iraq and Afghanistan were feeling.
"I just wanted to express myself," Xavier said, adding that he was nervous about the song at first, but began playing it to more and more people after close friends said they liked it.
The chorus is a plea. He sings, "Keep 'em safe, keep .....