Black America, are we lying to ourselves? It seems as though there are quite a few areas where we are not totally being honest with one another.

A recent study proves that people lie to each other at least three times in a 10-minute period after just being introduced! The study also says that it’s difficult for even law enforcement personnel to know when someone is really lying.

With all of that in mind, what lies does black America believe most? We thought we’d do our own unofficial study to see what the record shows. What lies do we believe about ourselves or continue to perpetuate? Here’s our list of the top 10.

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Lie #1: Soul food is good for you. Our mamas, grandmamas, dads and uncles definitely loved us. So much, in fact, that they cooked chitlins and pig feet and hosted lavish barbeques featuring plates overflowing with delicious food like macaroni and cheese, candied yams, pork chops and fried chicken. Let’s not forget about those desserts like red velvet cake and peach cobbler - and that oh-so-good lemonade and sweet tea. The problem is that the soul food diet, as good as it is, is filled with fatty meats, fried foods, sugar, salt and a high percentage of dietary fat. Those are the very things that are causing record numbers of obesity in our community. Nobody’s saying you shouldn’t enjoy our cultural food every now and then. But a soul food diet all the time is a license for health problems down the line.

Lie #2: Baby mamas/daddies are okay. No, not every child in the world is going to come into the world with two loving, married parents. And even some who do may end up as children of divorce. There are no guarantees that an intact family will stay intact. But statistics overwhelmingly prove that children born to single, teenage mothers have a much greater chance of being poor with limited educations and a show a greater propensity for violent and criminal behavior. When did we begin to accept that having children was a random and thoughtless decision, particularly at a time when birth control is more accessible and easier to use than ever before? When did we start to believe, as both men and women, that it’s okay to bring a life into the world before either parent is able to truly handle the responsibility? Given the grim statistics, we need to look at what a costly lie this has become.

Lie #3: Celebrities are more deserving of forgiveness than others. Convicted felons Li’l Kim, T.I., Chris Brown and Michael Vick have something in common despite their legal issues – the support of the black community. Given their respective crimes of perjury, weapons charges, domestic violence and dog-fighting, you have to wonder if they would receive that same support if their names weren’t bold-faced. Think about it: If any one of your friends and relatives had done any of those same things, would you have been so forgiving? It’s amazing that black folks who have washed their hands of people in their own lives have embraced celebrities they don’t even know after they’ve committed some pretty disturbing crimes.

Lie #4: A hustler mentality is more important than a formal education. The black community loves its hustlers, whether it’s Diddy, Jay-Z, The Knowles family or 50 Cent. Hustle, hustle, hustle is the ethos that permeates black America. Sure, hustling has its merits – but is it the only way to achieve success? President Barack Obama is probably the most primary example of what an education can do. He and his wife are both proud .....

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by   
Creditanddebthelp
August 27, 2009, 1:44 pm
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This arrticle is just silly, and another way for the blk elite to seperate and out down their own kind. The issue (lies) addressed in this article are things that all ethnic groups in America are facing.

by   
Crackpipeass
August 25, 2009, 7:28 am
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Lie #11: HBCU's are good schools.
Over the past two decades, at least seven historically black colleges have lost their accreditation. While some schools were able to regain their accreditation status, others, such as Knoxville College and Morris Brown College, remain open without regional accreditation.

by   
Jiggy5
August 24, 2009, 1:03 pm
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NOT THE VIBRATOR alternative. You are the black females who should be having children. We have to have some NORMAL kids in school, dang. All of "Normals" go to magnet schools anyway while the nutts are sent to general population schools.lololol
Just email me smithmusic_2000@yahoo.com. I have about 2 single brothers who are good people.

by   
Jazflutesmith
August 23, 2009, 9:59 pm
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Someone out there needs to hack a computer and find one family, black, white, or Hispanic. Use that computer to get info about that whole family's contribution to America. It would ask the question; how long on welfare, what members of the family were in jail, served in the military, contributed to society , or did not contriibute to society and add to total amount of dollars it costs the taxpayers.

by   
Jazflutesmith
August 23, 2009, 9:51 pm
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What about the biggest lie?

by   
Mikecockrell
August 23, 2009, 7:32 am
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My comment is about #6. Seriously, do you believe if the public had to pick a wife for President Obama that it would have been Michelle Obama? She is who he chose, not the public. I know some people who were talking about her wearing a short sleeve dress. Believe me, skin color does matter with some folk in the black community. President Obama is beyond that mess, but many of us are not.

by   
Aseelah
August 22, 2009, 5:22 pm
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I am a black man living in America. The 10 big lies doesn't has never been an obstacle for me. I wasn't rared in that type of entrappment. I am finding it very difficult to identify with the so-blackness in this article. I don't associate or approved of such blacks.

by   
Black_Conservative
August 22, 2009, 4:25 pm
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#5. Hurricane Kartrina,should be MORE than enough reason,to TOSS those our children into a pool,(equipped with a life vest of course,& u jumpin in alongside them!)
#6. COMPLETE stupidity!!! BLACK PEOPLE,WAKE UP & SMELL UR BLACK BOOTY!!! (there SHOULD NOT even be a topic discussing our vast & various complexions!!!!!)
#7. NO COMMENT!! (I am MIGHTY happy with my vibrator!)

by   
Rubinisk
August 22, 2009, 12:43 am
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#2. REFORM welfare,esp.as a legacy for most,and watch the feathers FLY--and NOT the goose-down from those WONDERFUL DEVANS!!!
#3. A no-brainer:As long as celebs,fart,doo-doo,pee-pee,& have menses,& the like,they may be viewed as me & u!!!
#4. Balance makes perfect!!! As our wonderful president has displayed,that common sense mixed with education,WILL NOT lend to an EDUCATED FOOL!!!!

by   
Rubinisk
August 22, 2009, 12:27 am
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#1. Italians,Chinese,have problem with their cuisine,as well,the former with that pasta,& the latter with M.S.G.!! Soul food is derived from the fatback,or the throwback of scraps of what the whytes DID NOT want to eat,back in he day-- but THESE days,put a bowel of chitterlins on the office-pot-luck table, & watch them magically DISAPPEAR!! (Sylvia's in N.Y. can boast of BUSES of people of Asian,and other non-ethnic groups,who enjoyed her fare!!!!

by   
Rubinisk
August 22, 2009, 12:16 am
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Okay, I agree, categorically, but with one noted observation. When we were younger & eating “soul food”, we were not obese! These stomachs & rolls of fat can't be blamed on "soul food"!  Say fast food!  Look at the people eating fast food as a way of life!!! I have been HUNGRY & gone into a FF restaurant, seen the other patrons (Go big girl what you gone do) & said to myself, “That’s alright”, & LEFT!!!!
Who is cooking all that (muffin top) “soul food”?  Dolly Madison, Ronald McDonald,  Dave Thomas & Col. Sanders are!

by   
Kimdwil
August 21, 2009, 11:05 am
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In todays society the biggest lie that is hurting "us" is the lie that we are no longer in SLAVERY! Because as long as we continure to b en- slaved to our possessions,churches,mates and ourselves then slavery has not ended! No one is doing anything to us now WE ARE SELF-DESTRUCTING OURSELVES and others, are sitting back laughing and saying even after slavery they still not together as a people!! We are a curse to the PROMISE LAND!!

by   
Mspattymelt
August 21, 2009, 10:44 am
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In these recessionary times when a student borrows $30K-$200K to get a spatula with that sheep skin, I can't agree that hustling is necessarily a bad thing. I think we need to emphacize that entertainers and athletes aren't the only characters in our community who need to hustle. WE ALL NEED A HUSTLE! There is nothing wrong with hustling. It can take a good hustle to that next level. Don't knock the hustle or the hookup! I know as many folks with lucretive hustles as know college grads whose job it is to supersize your dollar menu value meals.

by   
Covertrage
August 21, 2009, 8:56 am
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This would be difficult, but if a couple breaks up, perhaps the mother should give custody of the children to their father. This assumes of course that the father is responsible and competent. But I think it would be a great motivation for couples to work out their problems and for women to pick quality men to father their children.

by   
PBAgrad
August 21, 2009, 8:30 am
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Celebrities.
They are people. They dont even help you why keep making them rich and crying you need. In reality some of our people make gods out of people who dont know who they are. We love living in a world of illusions delusions and again blame others for the outcome. Time to wake up. Celebrities are about themselves.

by   
Elchar
August 21, 2009, 8:21 am
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Baby Momma and Daddy

We are adults and adults have children when they establish relationships.
Adults marry for financial,emotiona,social and physical stability.
We blame others for the lack of basic needs and yet we have the power to provide them ourselves. Some how we think avoidance will change thing when in reality it delays all of our goals. Together we stand divided we fall. We are a part of each other until we accept it we will continue to be considered a down trodded people.

by   
Elchar
August 21, 2009, 8:20 am
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Soul Food is Slave food.
We keep killing to eat and we wonder why our lives there is so much calamities.

Who said we had to eat animals?
Who said we could not stop.
Nuts will provide protein

by   
Elchar
August 21, 2009, 8:17 am
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Tonya, we are lying to ourselves to our own detriment. #1 soul food is SLAVE food. At the time of our captivity GOD blessed it to sustain us. Now that we are free HIS blessing has been removed. #2 With over 60% of black children being born out of wedlock and over 60% of all children in foster care being black you can clearly see the impact when children are not born in a proper family structure. There is a reason why GOD did not allow Mary to raise Jesus as a single mother. #3 don’t forget to include preachers in this group. Black people love to reconcile black pastors with the saints after…

by   
Drwill911
August 20, 2009, 3:19 pm
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… they are caught in sin. #4 there is a “get over” mentality in the black community that keeps black women on welfare and black men in jail. They “do what they gotta’ do” to get over rather than doing what they need to do to get ahead. #5 fear of water was instilled in our people during slavery to keep them from escaping across the river and being hard to track. This fear was passed generationally, like the effects of Willie Lynch, from parents to children. #6 the color complexity is perpetuated based on expectations. One expects to be treated differently, ergo, people pick-up that negative…

by   
Drwill911
August 20, 2009, 3:18 pm
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… vibe and treat them negatively. #7 women and children in two parent homes are wealthier and men who are married live longer. #8 the death certificates of black people who die from diabetes, heart disease, etc may ascribe death due to complications from these ailments, but they should read “death by greasy spoon”. #9 people who know they are descended from royalty act like it! Prince William of England gets treated like royalty because he acts like royalty and expects to be treated like royalty. #10 men without emotional needs are sociopathic. Healthy men feel and can feel for others…

by   
Drwill911
August 20, 2009, 3:16 pm
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… That said, being overly emotional is a luxury reserved for women and children. A man that is too emotional is deadly. Due to the break down of the family men are not being nurtured properly to feel empathy or guarded and governed properly under male authority to learn how to conduct themselves emotionally. Thus, they often react improperly with emotion that should be reserved for women and children. Read my free article “Little Boys Should Play with Dolls” at drwill911.com.

by   
Drwill911
August 20, 2009, 3:15 pm
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Welfare pays, but have more than two children. If you do this you will get all kind of entitlements. You do not have to work. You get to stay home and watch Jerry Springer, Spanger or whatever his name is. You boyfriend can come over because the kids are at school. The government will even feed them AND give you food for them for the weekend, allz New Jersey and Kentucky.
YOU HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY, BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND IS UNCLE SAM.....what a novel idea, get pregnant and have the taxpayers pay your way

by   
Jazflutesmith
August 20, 2009, 3:11 pm
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Here is something nobody wants to hear... or deal with. Stop having sex outside of marriage. That is what the scriputre says. Our life is proof of what happens when you don't listen to the scripture. Now, I am definitely not without sin... especially when it comes to sex. But the truth is the truth!

by   
Vsdn
August 20, 2009, 2:45 pm
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Ladies, not every guy who says "I Love You" does...the one who really means it will "put a ring on it". If no, move on. That is taking responsibility for your love life. Men, it's not necessary to drop babies with every chick you sleep with. Take responsibility for yourself...rubber up! Condoms are way cheaper than children. My people, stop having big families if you can't take care of them. Welfare is meant to get you over the hump, not become a lifestyle. You shortchange yourself but more importantly you shortchange your children. Accountability, Responsibility and Self-Respect.

by   
Marquette06
August 20, 2009, 2:31 pm
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Accountability, responsibility and self-respect. If we loved and respected ourselves, accountability and responsibiilty for our actions would come almost naturally. If you loved your body, you wouldn't use drugs or alcohol or have unprotect sex. You wouldn't put yourself in the position of having children and not being able to take care of them. Women...as much as we want to complain about "baby daddies" ultimately WE are the ones who control our bodies. If a man doesn't want to rubber up then move on.

by   
Marquette06
August 20, 2009, 2:26 pm
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When you place conditions on people they resist. I am watching my friend now with his overweight wife. He wants her to lose weight, that is a condition. "For better or worse" She ain't thinking about nothing else but a cheeseburger...DANG. conditions don't mean a thang, because people just don't care about anything anymore.

by   
Jazflutesmith
August 20, 2009, 1:41 pm
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Accountability with penalty. There should be harder penalities for not supporting children when you make them. This practice of having a baby and relying on welfare to support YOU while you still go with the father ???/ That is NOT RIGHT. One in Three black births end in abortion. I hate to say it but, DON't EVER outlaw abortion....whew, could you imagine if they did ??? DANG
4.6 billion dollars for welfare every year. This is everyone black white hispanic..whew

by   
Jazflutesmith
August 20, 2009, 1:37 pm
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the article basically comes down to accountability. We forgive when we shouldn't, lower our expectations when we should be setting standards not just in finding a mate but in the behaviour required from our children, employer, friends, etc. When it comes to relationship building, stop this sentimental unconditional love nonsense and place some conditions on the man or woman who wants to be with you.

by   
Scotiana
August 20, 2009, 1:29 pm
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THERE are toooo many women. My single buddies all ages are having a ball, why get married ???
They just live with females, have an argument and move on. There are no valid legal reasons to get married when you have children. Craziness

by   
Jazflutesmith
August 20, 2009, 1:16 pm
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