PHOTO GALLERY:  Tiger Woods – Off the Green

We did it! We came up on Tiger Woods’ secret Twitter files, and it turns out that he’s been tweeting with a few other famous athletes about his "situation" - which, by the way, just got more interesting with the emergence of three new alleged mistresses.

Really, what are friends for if not good advice?

It's no secret, thanks to his early-morning "accident," that Woods now has a bevy of women claiming he was doing some master stroking off the golf course (Click here for "Saturday Night Live's" hilarious take on the Woods household.). Reportedly, he’s not only given an extra $5 million instant payoff to his wife Elin Nordegren; he’s offered to re-up the pre-nup to a supposed figure of over $50 million if she stays in the five-year marriage.

At times like these, a man obviously needs his boys.

(DISCLAIMER: These “tweets” are a parody, and we made every one of them up, so don’t go looking for Cali_been_asian on Twitter. If there is one, it ain’t the real Tiger Woods. And that’s true for everyone below, but play along anyway.)

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Shaqadoodledoo: Fool, you are messing up the game! How do you get hit with your own golf club?

Cali_been_asian: I know, right? You don’t think people will know it’s me on here, do you, Shaq?

Shaqadoodledoo: Don’t say my name on here! WTH? This is why you dumb. I had to school Kobe, now you?

Obi_wan_Kobe: Shut up, Shaq, or I’ll really show you how my butt tastes. Look, Tiger, all you have to do is use my jeweler. How are you giving this chick five mil to stay? My jeweler hooks people up! That ring ain’t real!

Cali_been_asian: For real? OMG! Why didn’t I think of that?

MJTheGreatest: I gave Juanita a car, a house and the kids. Y’all younguns so dumb!

Diddydoesit: I don’t understand why any of y’all get married in the first place. I pay child support only, no alimony. SMH @ y’all.

IAmOJ: Don’t handle things the way that I did.

Shaqadoodledoo: OMG! How did he get on here? Everybody, block him, please. We got enough problems.

HOVA: I got 99 problems and a wife ain’t one!

Shaqadoodledoo: STHU. You just got lucky. Got that girl young before she figured out you just like the rest of us!

HOVA: I got 99 problems but a wife ain’t one!

Diddydoesit: I’m ignoring that fool. He always think he better than everybody. But he grew up in the projects! I grew up in Mt.Vernon, son! Mt.Vernon!

Cali_been_asian: Look, guys, I need your help for real. Chick is talking about leaving, and all these heifers are coming out the woodwork. My Stanford education didn’t prepare me for this!

Shaqadoodledoo: Can you have another baby real quick? Every time Shaunie got mad at me, I just her pregnant.

Cali_been_asian: Right now, I’m sleeping in our sixth guest bedroom, not even on her side of the house.

Obi_wan_Kobe: You a fool, man. How does she determine where people sleep in your house?

Shaqadoodledoo: Oh, please. Vanessa had you sleeping in your car.

Obi-wan-Kobe: Shut up! That’s not true. I was in the basement. I mean, that’s where the car was ...

Diddydoesit: Y'all are some idiots. Look at me, never been married, no problems. Everyone thinks the women are stupid, and I stay doing my thing.

HOVA: I got 99 problems –

Diddydoesit: Shut up!

Shaqadoodledoo: Shut up!

Cali_been_asian: Shut up!

Obi_wan_kobe: Shut up!

MJTheGreatest: Fools, all of y’all.

CBInsideTheNBA: Hey, guys. Damn, does this mess up our golfing trip? Tiger, you said you’d bet me that Mike and I can’t beat you and Shaq.

Cali_been_asian: I can’t think about golf at a time like this! .....

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