Chris Rock’s documentary film, “Good Hair,” tugs at the roots of an age-old dilemma that many black women - and some men - refer to as the “Hair Wars.”

Rock explores black women’s attitudes toward their hair, the money they willingly give to the hair industry to manage, control or tame their manes and how hair affects the way they see themselves.

It starts early for some, who get messages from their families whether their hair is “good” or "bad," whether nappy is good or bad and whether their hair enhances or hampers their looks.

And some men, especially single dads who have to comb and style their daughters’ hair, understand the hair wars all too well, sometimes for themselves as well as their children.

“The women at the girls’ day care called me the ‘Pony Tail Dad’ because it was the only style I could execute with any proficiency,” said Clem Richardson, a columnist at The New York Daily News and the father of two daughters, now in college.

“I gave up efforts to alter my own nappy naps back in elementary school after misunderstanding directions detailing how to get waves in my head and mistakenly pouring hot hair grease melted on the stove directly on my quickly smoking head,” Richardson told BlackAmericaWeb.com. “The burns healed, eventually.”

Even women with long, thick tresses often discovered that the hair life wasn’t easy for them, either.

“My hair was so long and full, and a lot of my friends had no hair,” said Annette Bradford, a hair stylist in Washington, D.C. “So, when I got into little altercations with the other girls at school, the first thing they would do would be to pull my hair.”

Bradford, the only daughter in her household, said her mother struggled to figure out how to handle Bradford’s hair. “I usually had to wait until my cousins or my brothers’ girlfriends came over to comb my hair, and they would do it quite nicely.”

As a stylist, she said, she sees more customers shying away from chemical relaxers, choosing instead texturizers, which provide manageability without heavy processing, or they’re going back to traditional “press and curl” or natural styles.

“It took me years to work up the courage to stop relaxing my hair, which, initially, I considered would be a way of making peace with my African-born-in-America self. By the time I chopped off the stuff that I'd been relaxing to death and damaging like hell, shearing it nearly to the nub of my scalp, I realized I was more on a journey of self-love than anything else,” said New York-based writer Katti Gray.

And for a lot of sisters, especially those raised in communities with few visible black role models, the message about what is beautiful starts early.

“I think her mindset comes from a lot of different places, and her hair is part of her daily life,” Tony Jones, a sportswriter in Salt Lake City, Utah, says of his five-year-old daughter Kelsi.

“She watches a lot of ‘That’s So Raven’ on the Disney channel, and Raven has long hair, along with 'Hannah Montana.' And since she’s been out in Utah, she hasn’t seen many black children, so that’s a disadvantage,” Jones told BlackAmericaWeb.com.

A trip to the hair salon last year, he said, was a disaster.

The stylist put a relaxer in Kelsi’s hair to make it more manageable. Deliriously happy with her new long, straight hair, Kelsi tossed and flossed and told her parents she was now “the most beautiful girl at school.” That night, she went to sleep resting her head on a propped-up hand so she wouldn’t muss her locks.

“First of all, that was too .....

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.....and yes,be it may that I am a woman of a certain age,and I wear a wig,although I do not have to,--I do:NOT believe that the A.A. women of the younger set want to have it displayed for the ENTIRE world to see,that they are sporting extensions or an entire weave---those in his documentary,wanted to be SEEN on t.v.---hell,I've seen women who wore house-dresseses,on the local news, t.v.--just to be SEEN!!!!

by   
Rubinisk
October 8, 2009, 2:28 pm
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Isn't Chris Rock,the comedian,who put it out there,that most Black mother's hands are shaking,when handing over their credit cards for payment,because the card may be denied???
Now,how would the A.A. man feel if an A.A. female,complained publicly and LOUDLY about A,A, foibles,such as ingrown hairs,& that smelly 'black magic',or how some men could use a bra,instead of a t-shirt,under their shirt,or those crusty-calloused feet,not to mention the excessive dandruff,that their scalp need to be 'scratched'--(some have remedied that by going bald)!!!

by   
Rubinisk
October 8, 2009, 2:18 pm
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I have worn only a small piece of a weave inthe front of my hair. Never been intrested in having a weave and always wondered why beautiful black women would want to put on hair that does not even look like their hair. i always thought it was becuase they were ashamed of the hair they had.

by   
EVAWOOD
October 8, 2009, 2:06 pm
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And Maiden_raglin, I understand what you mean by the "Is that your hair" question. Whether it grew out of your head or you bought it from the local Beauty supply store, it is yours. You're the one wearing it. I have always gotten that question, no matter how long or short. People always say it looks like a wig. I always tell them, whether I'm rocking what God let grow there or what I found at Beauty 7 Mart, "Yes, it's mine. It's on my head and not someone else's isn't it?"

by   
Greeneyes57
October 8, 2009, 1:53 pm
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I understand everyone's laments about their hair issues. I had always had really thick, shoulder length or longer hair. I wear every way imaginable, including shaved. My hair has been every color on the market, along with quite a few I created on my own. I think we as a people take our hair much too seriously. Hair is a natural accessory: Whether I weave it, wear wigs, color, relax, cut or braid it, it’s mine. I have very little fear in experimenting with my hair. We have to learn to NOT take ourselves and our God-given gifts of beauty too seriously and just enjoy the who and what we are.

by   
Greeneyes57
October 8, 2009, 1:50 pm
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African American mothers need to teach their girls that their beauty is NOT in their hair! That their hair is beautiful regardless of its kinkiness or straightness! Thats how I was raised - I love my hair whether its straight, nappy, braided, or weaved - the versatility of African american hair makes it that much better than others! I WILL NOT HAVE THE "IS THAT YOUR REAL HAIR?" discussion with white folks - they don't need another reason to find fault in our differences!

by   
Maiden_raglin
October 8, 2009, 1:17 pm
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There has never been a conversation in my family that implied someones hair was "better" than someone elses - we each embraced our own indiviudal beauty - regardless of the curl pattern in our hair!

by   
Maiden_raglin
October 8, 2009, 1:17 pm
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I think Chris Rock has gone to far! He has truly "outed" the sister's and their hair issues. Don't we have enough to deal with in this society that values the white ideal of beauty? Now we gotta have that conversation with all the white folks who have been so curious about our hair for so long - I am not my hair! In my immediate family of 2 sisters and one mother, we have every kind of hair from silky straight to "back to Africa" nappy.

by   
Maiden_raglin
October 8, 2009, 1:16 pm
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Reno, I know your mother's glad she listened to you, although I get the impression she's always been a woman to keep herself looking good.

by   
CAmira
October 8, 2009, 12:50 pm
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I love my short sassy look... However it's time. Therefore I've weave. Most black stylist don't schedule appointments with a enough time. I would spend 6 to 8 hrs a week at the shop. Then to top if off It quite costly.....Short hair does make me look younger but my weave is less costly and less time.

by   
Dedora40
October 8, 2009, 12:04 pm
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You're so right, CAmira! I finally convinced my mother to cut hers--she's a widow in her mid 60s, and is still BEATING the men off of her!!! She already looked young, but when she went "short," she was like...POW! BAM!!! BOOM!!!

by   
Reno112303
October 8, 2009, 11:21 am
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I knew a sister in her fifties who cut hair her hair short and looked 15 years younger after her hair cut. Long hair can be beautiful, but depending on your face shape, skin condition (wrinkles) or age, it can sometimes make a women look much older than she really is.

by   
CAmira
October 8, 2009, 11:10 am
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Black folks are still tripping about hair! Black women with long hair still think that because their hair is long it really means something!? I cut my hair short in 2000. I have gotten more compliments with short hair than I ever did with my long, fine hair. I know black women who would rather DIE and go to HELL than cut their LONG hair even when it's not "fly" or "cute." That plantation mentality is wearing thin.

by   
Reno112303
October 8, 2009, 11:03 am
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I stopped relaxing my hair in 1995. If nappy hair is what the good Lord gave me, then I'm fine with it. Besides that, I'm Black and proud.

by   
CAmira
October 8, 2009, 11:01 am
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if u don't like your hair,then put a wig on it---go ahead and try to put a wig on it---oh-oh-oh-oh-oh--oh-oh-oh-oh-ohohohohohoh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
DON'T-leave the home or hotel room without it, cus u walking around with just a wig cap on,u feel some air on ur head,u touch ur head,and ur wig is GONE---oh-oh-oh-oh-ohohohohohohoh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~

by   
Rubinisk
October 8, 2009, 8:38 am
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I am a middle-aged Sista blessed with long hair! All of my life, hair has been a great aaset with my relationships! All of my life I have alsway had a man I was married very very early, and I remarried after 3decades with the first husband! Sista, REAL hair is the way, your Sex, is not messed up! Also, you can do your own hair when you want too! No appointments needed! The Bible states that Hair is a womans GLORY! Now , ask GOD about it! Also, All BLACK preachers need to address this Important ISSUE!

by   
Soldierswife
October 8, 2009, 7:17 am
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I am a middle-aged Sista blessed with long hair! All of my life, hair has been a great aaset with my relationships! All of my life I have alsway had a man I was married very very early, and I remarried after 3decades with the first husband! Sista, REAL hair is the way, your Sex, is not messed up! Also, you can do your own hair when you want too! No appointments needed! The Bible states that Hair is a womans GLORY! Now , ask GOD about it! Also, All BLACK preachers need to address this Important ISSUE!

by   
Soldierswife
October 8, 2009, 7:17 am
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I just love Chris! I'm looking forward to seeing this movie with my girlfriends! Chris Rock Rocks!!!

by   
Barackie
October 8, 2009, 6:42 am
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