Losing your job can take a toll on your emotions.  Research confirms the biggest impact of unemployment is not loss of income, but the loss of feeling needed and the loss of social connections.  If you or someone you know is one of the millions out of work, be sure to address the emotional loss by intentionally finding ways to connect meaningfully with others.  Here are a few simple ideas:

1. Reach out consistently
Be deliberate about calling friends and staying in touch.  When you feel isolated, it can be easy to disconnect from the world.  Refuse to let that happen.  Instead, set a goal of reaching out to one or two people every day, whether family or friends, just for conversation.  And get together at least a couple times each week with people you enjoy.

2. Don’t ruminate.
Some psychologists believe that rumination – rehashing doubts and negative thoughts – ultimately leads to depression.  In other words, you think yourself into a depressed state by focusing on the things that are wrong in your life.  Cut off negative thoughts mid-stream by choosing new thoughts that focus on gratitude – what’s going right?  What’s good about your life? What are the positives you have to offer an employer?

3. Volunteer.
Get involved in something that helps someone else.  It’s one of the best ways to feel better about your own situation.  And if you volunteer as a part of a civic group or ministry activity – you have the opportunity to be a part of a team, something that’s likely missing since losing your job.

4. Invite people over.
Even if your budget doesn’t allow for going out much, having friends over to watch a movie, enjoy a potluck dinner or play games are great ways to connect. 

5. Find your “hive.”
Dr. Jonathan Haidt, a psychology professor at the University of Virginia, coined the phrase “hive” (as in bee hive) to describe a tight-knit group where you find support and camaraderie.  For people who work outside a home office, the workplace is a hive – a second family of sorts.  Though you may not be able to create the same hive while out of work, you can be intentional about identifying and being active in the other hive(s) in your life.  Maybe it’s family, church, a business group or civic organization, or your local softball league.  Find a place where you fit in.

Valorie Burton is a professional speaker, Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and the author of five books, including What’s Really Holding You Back?, Listen to Your Life, and How Did I Get So Busy?The 28-Day Plan to Free Your Time, Reclaim Your Schedule and Reconnect with What Matters Most.  Subscribe to her free e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com and follow her at www.twitter.com/valorieburton.

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